AITA for Taking a Percentage of My Son’s Paycheck?

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My son, Alex, has recently landed his first full-time job after graduating from college. It’s an exciting time for him, as well as for me as a parent. I’ve always been proud of his accomplishments and the responsible young man he’s become.

But now, our relationship has taken an unexpected turn due to a financial decision I made.

Financial Struggles

My family has had its share of financial struggles over the years.

We’ve gone through times where we barely made ends meet, and there were moments when we had to make significant sacrifices. This financial instability made me realize the importance of savings and financial responsibility.

The Situation

Alex got a job as a junior software developer at a reputable tech company. He’s earning a good entry-level salary, and I’m thrilled about his prospects.

However, I couldn’t help but worry about his financial habits, especially given his inexperience with managing a full-time paycheck. To ensure he starts on the right foot, I decided to discuss a financial arrangement with him.

My Proposal

I sat down with Alex one evening and proposed the idea of him giving me 10% of his monthly paycheck. I explained that this was not about controlling his finances but rather a way to teach him the importance of saving and being financially responsible. My intention was to help him establish good financial habits early on.

The Agreement

Alex was initially reluctant, as expected. He felt that the money he earned should be entirely his to manage. However, after some discussions and reassurances that I would keep his contributions in a separate savings account for him, he reluctantly agreed.

We even put our agreement in writing, including a clause that he could opt out of this arrangement at any time.

The Savings Plan

Every month, Alex would transfer the agreed-upon percentage of his paycheck into the separate savings account.

My intention was that, eventually, he would have a considerable amount saved up, which could serve as an emergency fund, help him make investments, or perhaps even buy a house.

The First Few Months

The arrangement seemed to work smoothly during the first few months. Alex’s savings account grew steadily, and he seemed to be more conscientious about his spending.

However, as time went on, I started to notice changes in our relationship and Alex’s attitude.

A Growing Rift

Alex started to become distant and avoid spending time with me. I noticed he was hesitant to share details of his life and his spending.

He also expressed frustration about not being able to use his full paycheck as he wished. Our once-close relationship had started to deteriorate.

A Heated Argument

Things came to a head when Alex confronted me one evening. He expressed his resentment over our financial arrangement, saying that he felt controlled and that it was unfair for me to have any say over how he used his hard-earned money.

He wanted to enjoy the fruits of his labor without feeling like he had to be accountable to anyone, even if that person was his parent.


Now, I find myself questioning whether I was in the wrong. Was I the asshole for imposing this financial arrangement on my son, despite my intentions of teaching him good financial habits?

My Perspective

From my perspective, I truly believed that I was acting in Alex’s best interest. Our family’s financial struggles have taught me the importance of saving, and I wanted to impart this wisdom to him.

I genuinely thought that helping him save 10% of his paycheck was a responsible way to ensure his financial security in the long run.

Alex’s Perspective

Alex, on the other hand, felt that I was infringing on his independence and treating him like a child. He believed that he should have the right to manage his income as he saw fit, without any interference from me.

In his eyes, the financial arrangement had caused a significant strain in our relationship, making him resentful and unhappy.

The Verdict

So, AITA for taking a percentage of my son’s paycheck? It’s a complex situation with valid arguments on both sides.

On one hand, I wanted to guide my son toward financial stability, but on the other hand, I might have inadvertently damaged our relationship and created an environment of resentment.

The ultimate decision lies with you, the reader. Was I the asshole, or was I simply a concerned parent trying to secure my son’s financial future?

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