AITA for Asking the Guys in My Bridal Party?

Feeling like YATA for Check out our quick advice if you really are or not. But before that, let's read first a similar story to reflect on from Jane.

As my wedding day approached, I faced a dilemma that seemed trivial at first but quickly escalated into a major source of stress. I had always envisioned a diverse and inclusive bridal party that would reflect the different aspects of my life and the people who meant the most to me.

So, when it came time to select my bridesmaids and bridesmen, I wanted to include my closest friends, regardless of their gender. Little did I know that my decision would spark a heated debate and leave me questioning whether I had crossed a line.

The Bridal Party Lineup

The Bridesmaids

To provide some context, let me introduce you to my bridal party. On the bridesmaids’ side, I had my sister, Sarah, my cousin, Lisa, and my childhood friend, Emily. These women had been with me through thick and thin, and their presence in my bridal party was unquestionable.

The Bridesmen

Now, onto the tricky part. My best friend since college, Alex, had always been like a brother to me. We’d been there for each other through heartbreak, job changes, and even questionable fashion choices.

So, when I asked him to be a bridesman, it felt like the most natural thing in the world. He happily accepted, and I couldn’t imagine my bridal party without him.

The Dilemma

The real dilemma arose when I included my other best friend, Jake, as a bridesman. Jake and I had shared countless adventures, and his unwavering support meant everything to me.

However, it didn’t take long for the criticism to pour in.

The Accusations

#1: Disregarding Tradition

The first accusation was that I was completely disregarding tradition. Some of my more traditional family members were appalled at having men in my bridal party. They argued that this was a time-honored tradition and that I was breaking the rules of what a bridal party should look like.

I understood their point of view, but I also believed that traditions should evolve to reflect our modern world.

#2: Attention Stealing

Another accusation that stung me was that I was trying to steal the spotlight from my husband-to-be, Mark. Some felt that by having two men in my bridal party, I was making the wedding about me and my feminist agenda rather than about us as a couple.

This accusation hit hard because my intention had never been to overshadow Mark or make our wedding about anything other than our love for each other.

#3: Alienating Female Friends

Perhaps the most unexpected backlash came from some of my female friends who were not included in the bridal party. They felt left out and hurt that I had chosen two men over them. I considered including them but ultimately decided on the people closest to me.

Still, their disappointment weighed heavily on my conscience.

The Emotional Toll

The accusations and criticism took an emotional toll on me. I felt torn between standing by my choices and appeasing those who were upset. It seemed that no matter what I did, someone would be unhappy.

The stress of the situation was starting to affect not only my wedding planning but also my relationships with friends and family.

Seeking Perspective

In all this chaos, I turned to my closest confidants for advice. Sarah, my sister and bridesmaid, fully supported my decision to include Alex and Jake. She reminded me that it was my day and I should have the people I loved most by my side.

Mark, my soon-to-be husband, was equally understanding and assured me that my decision didn’t diminish our commitment to each other in any way.

The Big Day Approaches

As the wedding day drew nearer, I couldn’t help but wonder if I had made the right decision. I loved Alex and Jake deeply, and their presence in my bridal party felt meaningful and authentic. But I also didn’t want to alienate or hurt anyone.


So, here I stand, on the brink of my wedding day, wondering: AITA for asking the guys in my bridal party? Did I truly overstep my bounds, or was I simply being true to myself and the people I love?

The accusations and criticism have taken a toll on me, and I’m left questioning whether my decision was justified.

In the end, it’s a question of values and priorities. Did my desire for an inclusive bridal party outweigh the hurt feelings of those who disagreed with my choices?

As I prepare to walk down the aisle, I can’t help but wonder if I made the right call or if I should have adhered to tradition more closely.

What do you think? AITA for asking the guys in my bridal party?

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